Tuesday, February 23, 2010
Cheever Arms: Part 3
8:41 PM |
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by Chantal
Alright guys, I changed my story to fit the 10 year criteria :) Let me know what you think!
10 Years Later
You walk into the sun lit kitchen, and your hair seems to be defying gravity as it stands perpendicular to your head. You drag your feet with every step, almost like you want to walk properly, but have forgotten how sometime throughout the night. With every step you take towards your destination and away from sleep, you blink your eyes to adjust to the brightness of the kitchen. Finally you reach your journeys end, your father's arms. He lifts you from the ground and you are relieved to no longer be in a standing position. As you rest your head on his shoulder, you can instantly feel the warm body heat being exchanged between his body and yours, and you think maybe you won't ever have to leave his arms. He holds you for several minutes and you can feel your body going back into sleep mode. Your eyes lids are slowly starting to meet and objects become a blur, so you give in and let them close. Your breathing has become relaxed; you inhale into your mouth and exhale slowly, letting your throat muscles become neutral. You have officially given into the pull of sleep. Suddenly, your body is moving and you don't know why, then you realize that you are still in your father's arms, and not in your bed.
He puts you down and says, "Why don't you go wait at the table for your breakfast, TJ." You notice that feeling you get when your father calls you "TJ." It's a feeling of pride. Knowing that you carry your father's name gives you hope that maybe one day you will be as strong as him. You head towards the breakfast bar, and locate your favorite stool. While struggling to get up on to the high seat, you realize that your muscles have not yet warmed up, so you settle for the less comfortable, but easy to get onto kitchen chair. Once you're comfortably sitting in the chair you rest your head on the cold, hard counter. Once again you feel the pull of sleep, and you don't fight it. Seconds later you wake to your mother's voice; she's talking to your father.
He puts you down and says, "Why don't you go wait at the table for your breakfast, TJ." You notice that feeling you get when your father calls you "TJ." It's a feeling of pride. Knowing that you carry your father's name gives you hope that maybe one day you will be as strong as him. You head towards the breakfast bar, and locate your favorite stool. While struggling to get up on to the high seat, you realize that your muscles have not yet warmed up, so you settle for the less comfortable, but easy to get onto kitchen chair. Once you're comfortably sitting in the chair you rest your head on the cold, hard counter. Once again you feel the pull of sleep, and you don't fight it. Seconds later you wake to your mother's voice; she's talking to your father.
"Happy birthday Mr. Tatum Kenyon, you are officially an old man!" You notice a small hint of sarcasm in her statement, or at least you assume because your father does not look old or act old.
"Hey! If 27 makes me an old man, than 28 must make you a very old woman," your father replies, with an undertone of laughter in his voice. The counter has warmed up due to the body heat you have been giving off, but it is still hard and very uncomfortable.
"Daddy," you say, very quietly in your high, six year old voice.
"Yes?" your father replies, sounding concerned.
"Yes?" your father replies, sounding concerned.
"I love you… and happy birfday" You see your dad come your way and you manage to sit up. Once again your father lifts you from where you sit, holds you close and whispers into your ear
"Well you should know that I think I love more." His hot breath on your ear gives you goose bumps, and you are happy to be in his arms again.
oh yellow. everyday.
cg
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fiction
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2 comments:
Hi Chantal. I added your missing last lines to this post to clear things up. It's good to see that someone attempted second-person POV. Quite successfully, I might add.
Thats so cute! I can totally picture the kid in my head, its like a little movie. I think there might be a "you" missing where Tatum says "Well you should know that I think I love more". And, I'm sorry if I sound picky, but shouldn't he Tatum only be 17? Because he was 7 for the first two?
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